An assessment for couple counselling is often four sessions – and this time allows the couple to give a full overview of their relationship problems to the therapist, allows the therapist offers some helpful, information-gathering questions, and allows all three the opportunity to discuss if they can work together to achieve the focus discovered and set by the assessment.

The four sessions are divided as follows:-

• Session one: all three meet to give an overview of the problems, and begin to discuss what might be an approach for couple counselling.
• Session two: one partner meets with the counsellor on their own.
• Session three: as session two, but with the other partner.
• Session four: all three meet again to discuss what was learned in the previous three sessions… and to see if a focus for couple counselling can be agreed.

Sometimes the assessment can be enough to dislodge the couple into continuing their relationship work on their own.

Sometimes the couple continue meeting with the counsellor.

If the couple and therapist agree not to proceed into therapy a referral may be made to another therapist.

Click for full details about an assessment for couples counselling.

If the former, then couple counselling might be something that is right for you.

If the latter, then couple counselling may not be suitable for you.

A couple counsellor has no instructions or recipes that if you follow to the letter you will find that your relationship improves.  However, a couples counsellor is skilled in helping couples learn what they’re not paying attention to (or have stopped paying attention to).  Some couple counsellors will be curious about the past history of the relationship – when was there a time when things were better.  Some couple counsellors will be curious about the present day – how does the relationship nurture unhappy behaviour.  Some counsellors will sit quietly and listen (actively) to an argument go on for a while – learning about what the partners cannot see for themselves.

Couples counselling can help perturb unhappy behaviours – but both partners have to wish for the relationship to change.  Unhappy behaviours may have become necessary for one (or both) partners (eg avoiding sex) – and dislodging these behaviours might release even more unhappiness if this is not first understood – this is just one of the aims in couples therapy.

Do you think couple counselling might be right for you both?