On This Page...
- 1 Private LGBT Counselling for Individuals.
- 2 Why Choose Dean Richardson for Lesbian, Gay, Bi & Trans* Counselling?
- 3 About LGBT Counselling for Individuals.
- 4 Gay… but not happy?
- 5 What is LGBT Individual Counselling?
- 6 Responsibilities within Individual’s Counselling.
- 7 What LGBT Individual Counselling isn’t suitable for.
- 8 What do to now…
Private LGBT Counselling for Individuals.
What if a single discovery, found with a trusted partner-in-counselling, could help to transform your approach to your life?
LGBT individual counselling is ideal for any Hampshire (or Skype) individual gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning person. It’s for when you want to deal with issues like anxiety, depression, phobias, confidence, work issues, relationship problems, “coming-out” (or not), being unsure of your sexuality, and many more issues – but working in partnership with a helpful professional.
BUT… whilst it’s true that any gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual or questioning individual could form a good working alliance with just about any counsellor, LGBT individuals often seek a therapist who identifies themselves as a member of their own LGBT community.
Why Choose Dean Richardson for Lesbian, Gay, Bi & Trans* Counselling?
- Practising since 1999.
- Fully qualified & accredited by the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy & registered on the BACP Register for Counsellors & Psychotherapists (#018839)
- Diploma in Psychodynamic individuals’ counselling (2003).
- Integrates a Cognitive Behavioural Approach (CBA) where helpful.
- Minimum 30 hours annual additional professional development.
- Indemnity Insurance.
- DBS (CRB) Certified.
- Studies LGBT therapies, publications & therapeutic approaches as a speciality.
About LGBT Counselling for Individuals.
When you have issues on your mind, and you either cannot talk with friends or family – or friends and family are unable to help sufficiently – private counselling helps. Whilst most counsellors will see LGBT clients, Dean Richardson is an male LGBT counsellor – spot the difference?
Sometimes a family member of friend will ask “… but why are you feeling like this” as if knowing the answering will help you fix the problem. To a professional LGBT therapist you don’t have to explain yourself.
We all usually have someone we can talk to about our problems in life. But sometimes we want to speak to someone who is going to help us work through the more difficult things. Counselling can help you work through problems in your life and to help you resolve them for good.
Taking up private counselling means that you don’t need to be referred to a counsellor by the NHS or your GP. You won’t have to go on a waiting list and you are not limited to a strict maximum number of six sessions. Neither are you restricted to one particular form of counselling – which may or may not help you – the choice being made on your behalf by what’s available on the NHS . By going private your GP will not be informed of your counselling – it remains totally confidential.
LGBT counselling can be supportive in many ways:-
- Thinking about “coming out” at work or to friends.
- Struggling with sexual- or gender- identity.
- Dealing with problems in an LGBT intimate relationship.
- LGBT lifestyle and/or sexual issues (eg BDSM, S&M, Cottaging, Club & Nightlife, drugs etc)
- Helping you work through life issues like health, losses, stresses, traumas.
- Helping you talk through weighing up a difficult decision.
- Talking through past experiences which need, finally, to be put to rest.
Some people come into counselling not knowing why – perhaps a friend has suggested it – and you and the counsellor can talk about that too.
Sometimes just knowing that someone is on your side helps.
Gay… but not happy?
Gay ‘conversion’ or ‘reparative’ is a controversial form of therapy. Today, most reputable therapy organisations denounce it as being useless and even harmful.
Dean Richardson does not practice any form of therapy that claims to change a person’s sexuality, orientation or sexual attraction.
However, not everyone who is aware of their same-gender sexual attraction is able to be happy about it. From whom do people, unhappy with their sexual orientation, seek help?
Dean’s therapeutic approaches aim to uncover forgotten root causes and forgotten sources of emotional conflicts; the conflict in your head may be saying that your heart’s attraction is wrong. Coming to understand why one is not happy with one’s sexual attraction can bring understanding & relief and a sense of being able to be at peace with oneself again.
What is LGBT Individual Counselling?
We initially meet to discuss your needs from counselling … and to have a think about what counselling might help you. This is called the “assessment” session.
If we agree that counselling could be helpful, and we think that we can work with each other, we will arrange subsequent sessions. Usually these sessions will be on the same time and day each week. Sometimes brief/focal counselling (a fixed number of sessions) is agreed suitable, sometimes working until the issues are worked through is a better choice.
Then we’ll talk.
You will usually lead the sessions (the counsellor will help at the beginning of the work). Whatever you want to talk about is OK. The counsellor will listen, be inquisitive and curious to help understand aspects of the problems that, perhaps, you had not considered before. The counsellor may sometimes offer thoughts and interpretations about what might be happening for you … giving you another perspective that is intended to help you understand the issues. Sometimes, looking forward into the future will be discussed; how will things be when the issues are resolved and put away. Sometimes the therapist will work with your emotions, sometimes the therapist will work with your patterns of thinking. All of this is aimed to help you find your own ways that work for you in putting the problems to bed, leaving you unburned/less burned than when you came to therapy.
All sessions are fifty minutes, are held weekly on the same day and time and same location.
Responsibilities within Individual’s Counselling.
What is expected of the Therapist?
- Ensuring the safety of both the therapist and client (eg a quiet, confidential room that will not be disturbed, that the session time begins and ends on time).
- To take an ethical stance on all matters, to follow the BACP's Ethical Framework, and to ensure his best practice for the client at all times.
- To ensure that the client can discuss his/her subjects in safety - albeit not necessarily always in comfort (i.e. discussing trauma will be uncomfortable to begin with) - but ensuring the client can stop at any time they wish to.
- To listen without communicating judgement or prejudice.
- To try and use the client's own language to discuss matters where possible (i.e. if the client doesn't speak in 'emotions' but instead talks about 'behaviour', then the therapist speaking exclusively in terms of 'emotions' may not be very helpful).
- To recognise and work with social, sexual, ability and cultural differences (that the therapist is not giving advice from his position ("What I would do is..."), but is being effective in helping the client find his/her own resolutions and/or management of problems).
- To be earnest on assisting the client out of therapy either when the client is ready to leave, or by helping the client recognise that the therapy may have been concluded (i.e. not keeping a person in therapy beyond a legitimate need & not ousting a client before he/she is ready to leave).
What is expected of the Client?
- Initially, the client needs simply to being willing to give the therapy a try - even if sceptical or unsure of the therapist's approach.
- To bear in mind that counselling is not done to him/her as a client, that he/she will not be cured by the therapist's approach alone. He/she is an active participant in the therapy (albeit this may not be possible at the start - and sometimes not during - due to emotional states).
- To ensuring that he/she tells the truth in all matters but also to be aware that he/she can decline to discuss anything uncomfortable.
- To take responsibility for bringing up concerns or dissatisfaction about the therapist with the therapist (e.g. the therapist's conduct, something he said, something he does etc.). All therapists appreciate that this may take courage ... but as the therapist has the best of intentions, and whilst his experience may often tip him off to a client being disturbed by something he does or says, he may not always be aware of any deep or hidden irritation on behalf the client.
- When the client/therapist agree an exercise between sessions is appropriate, to be willing to find the time to address the exercise, or be willing to discuss matters if the exercise was not completed (or, say, not completed to the client's satisfaction).
- Be willing to bring up ending counselling when he/she feels that time is approaching.
What LGBT Individual Counselling isn’t suitable for.
Individuals looking to work particularly with Dean, but who live too far away to travel weekly to Portsmouth, may find Dean’s Skype Personal Counselling Service useful (read more…)
- When questions about your sexuality or gender-identity are not your primary concern, LGBT counselling may not be particularly useful for you.
- Counselling is not an advice service. If you are seeking someone to tell you what to do, the counsellor will not be able to give you solutions (e.g. based upon his own training, experience or judgement); counselling is a collaboration.
- The counsellor will not take action on your behalf (e.g. writing to a government agency, or writing a complaint to a company on your behalf).
- Counselling isn’t a social meeting – although it can appear as though it is a social relationship.
- Counselling is not held anywhere public (e.g. a cafe, library). Some counsellors will offer home-visits, but Dean Richardson will meet with you in his Portsmouth office, or via Skype/Hangouts video.
- Counselling is usually not helpful to someone who is sent (e.g. by parent, court, family member). As counselling is a confidential collaboration, it is of little help if you don’t want to take part.
- Individual counselling cannot help change someone else. Sometimes people wish to come and talk about problems with another person, sometimes wanting solutions for that other person to be changed. The only person we can work to change in individual therapy is you.
What do to now…
If you are interested in meeting for LGBT individual counselling, contact Dean Richardson to make an initial appointment to chat about options.