Working with couples in counselling, my approach follows an incredibly helpful systemic / psychodynamic framework for relationship therapy. One of the important features of this therapy is inviting & encouraging the couple to invite inspiration & creative approaches to tackling relationship problems.

It’s a common response to hear: “…but we’ve tried everything” and “…but I don’t think creatively” and those protests need addressing with understanding and empathy in counselling.

As a couple counsellor, I do not offer solutions to a couple’s problems (I’ve simply learned that it can be a bit like buying a Paul McKenna book on “I can make you thin” giving someone the expectation they will have it done all for them by the writer/advice-giver) but I do sometimes offer sources of information that might help to ignite their own creativity.

Working with LGBT couples I’ve been surprise on how few of them know about Gay’s the Word in London. It’s such an excellent source of LGBT material (and more personal than, say, Amazon):-

Gay’s the Word are the UK’s pioneering first (and now the last surviving) lesbian and gay bookshop. Established in 1979 and located in the historic Bloomsbury district of London, they stock an enormous range of books; from the profound to the frivolous, from the liberating to the indulgent. Their fiction ranges from prize-winning literary works through to crime, romance and erotic fiction. Their non-fiction covers a wide range of issues from cutting-edge queer theory through to how to tell your mother you are gay. Their range of queer philosophical, political, historical and other scholarly works is unequalled in the UK. If they recommend a title, it’s because they’ve read it and particularly enjoyed it.

So, if you’re looking for some inspiring literature, some ideas on how you might begin to tackle sexual (or sexuality) issues in your relationship – pop into Gay’s the Word, purchase some things, have a read, and maybe come and discuss matters with me: Dean Richardson.

If you are in a relationship – regardless of either of your sexualities – and you are having relationship problems after an HIV test gave a positive result then contact Dean Richardson today to arranging a no-obligation initial session to see if couples counselling could be helpful for both of you.

It has not been unusual for a couple – gay, lesbian or straight – to come to see Dean Richardson for private couples counselling after one (or both) have been diagnosed as HIV-positive.

• Sometimes the couple counselling is about dealing with the shock of receiving a positive diagnosis.
• Sometimes the counselling is about dealing with trust issues raised by one partner being diagnosed.
• Sometimes the diagnosis is cathartic in releasing other matters that have been delayed – but now need someone to help the couple discuss.

Whatever the core reasons of seeking couples counselling, Dean is a qualified and experienced couples counsellor who works with couples that have received a positive HIV diagnosis (amongst many other couple relationship reasons for counselling).  His couples counselling service in Portsmouth can help a couple negotiate their way through difficult problems resulting from HIV diagnoses.

The GU clinic may give you and your partner support after an HIV positive diagnosis, but longer term therapy is available privately through meeting with Dean.

Arranging a Couple Counselling appointment.

You don’t need to be referred to Dean via your local GUM clinic, nor your doctor, you can make your own appointment directly. Initiating private counselling is totally up to you both and can be arranged very quickly. 

Dean is a systemic and psychodynamic qualified couples counsellor that is ideal for assisting a couple in finding their own newly inspired solutions to their own relationship conflicts. Dean’s couple counselling is a confidential service that can compliment the medical treatment that you will continue to receive through your GUM clinic and/or your doctor.

Relationship Counselling for Mixed Sexual-Orientation Couples.

Couples who are in an intimate, mixed-sexuality relationship or an intimate mixed gender-orientation marriage can experience relationship problems in just the same way as any other couple relationship.

Whist any trained & qualified couples counsellor could be able to work with your relationship,  sometimes mixed-orientation couples choose to work with a systemic couples relationship therapist who specialises in working with mixed-orientation couples.

In Hampshire, and on Skype, that therapist is Dean Richardson.

What is a mixed-sexuality / mixed-orientation relationship?

Not all intimate couple relationships have be composed of people of the same sexuality.  Mixed-sexuality relationships are when both partners identify with a different sexuality to their partner; for example a gay man and a straight woman.

Whilst such relationships work perfectly fine without therapeutic intervention, they can also develop conflicts that are particular to this type of relationships.  As an example, whilst sex does not have to be the centre of an intimate relationship, when sexual intimacy becomes a problem, mixed-sexuality couples may require a special kind of support in helping the couple to find  their own solutions to such difficult problems.

Dean Richardson – Mixed-Orientation Couple Counsellor.

Dean Richardson is a fully qualified and experienced couple relationship therapist.  He specialises in working with LGBT couples and couple relationships of mixed-sexualities and mixed-orientations.  He doesn’t impose traditional values on relationships that are incomparable with heteronormative standards.

Working with Dean means the mixed-sexuality/mixed-gender-identified couple can continue to feel proud of their relationship. They can regard their relationship problems as an interesting obstacle to be worked with curiosity & inspiration – a healthy approach through systemic couples counselling.

You, your partner and Dean will work with the relationship style that you bring to counselling, and we’ll work with resolving the problems that you bring too.

How to begin Couple Counselling.

1) Pick a date/time from Dean’s availability.  You and your partner will be attending together – and if you and Dean agree that couple counselling is a suitable form of treatment for you, you will both be attending with your partner for each week’s session.

2) Contact Dean to arrange an assessment for couple counselling – or to discuss with Dean your questions or concerns for couple counselling.

Couples counselling for mixed-orientation couples can be a helpful resource to a couple who are struggling with problems that seem unique and insurmountable.  Choose Dean Richardson to help you attend to your unique relationship … together.

An assessment for couple counselling is often four sessions – and this time allows the couple to give a full overview of their relationship problems to the therapist, allows the therapist offers some helpful, information-gathering questions, and allows all three the opportunity to discuss if they can work together to achieve the focus discovered and set by the assessment.

The four sessions are divided as follows:-

• Session one: all three meet to give an overview of the problems, and begin to discuss what might be an approach for couple counselling.
• Session two: one partner meets with the counsellor on their own.
• Session three: as session two, but with the other partner.
• Session four: all three meet again to discuss what was learned in the previous three sessions… and to see if a focus for couple counselling can be agreed.

Sometimes the assessment can be enough to dislodge the couple into continuing their relationship work on their own.

Sometimes the couple continue meeting with the counsellor.

If the couple and therapist agree not to proceed into therapy a referral may be made to another therapist.

Click for full details about an assessment for couples counselling.